How to Get 13 1/2 Hours of Extra Flying Time on a Cross-Country Trip

Some of my more sadistic friends who follow me on twitter asked for a complete listing of all the travel delays I ran into when I flew from San Jose CA back home to West Palm Beach FL the other day. So, for those who just didn't get enough of my live updates from the road as I ran into one problem after another, here's a complete listing of the events that led to me arriving back home 13 1/2 hours later than I was scheduled.

My original schedule called for me to leave San Jose at noon, fly to Houston, change planes, and arrive in West Palm at 10: 45 p.m. Let's see how that worked out.

1. The Goose Incident

Upon arriving at the San Jose airport and trundling blithely through security, the small group I was traveling with heard the announcement that boarding would be delayed "Hopefully not for too long." Apparently when the plane landed in San Jose someone heard a load "thump". Upon further inspection a large dent was discovered at the base of the tail fin (rear stabilizer in airline parlance). Whatever, when we looked out the window at the plane you could actually see a sizable dent. Speculation was that the plane had hit a goose or some other large bird.

2. Anyone Have a Really Tall Truck? Forklift?

"Hey sorry for the continued delays folks. We're trying to find a piece of equipment that will let our inspectors get to the dent on the tail. Once they have a close look at it we think we'll still be able to get you into the air. Um, and for those who have a close connection, why don't you go ahead and line up and we'll see how you're affected by the delays."

3. No Plane on Friday

"Um, folks, it doesn't look like this plane will be getting off the ground. Boeing engineers have verified that the damage is too close to the fuel and hydraulic lines for the plane to fly. If you'll line up at these two stations we'll get your re-routed or onto other airlines."

4. Away from San Jose

Agent: "We can put you on a redeye out of San Francisco at 10:00 tonight. That will take you to Newark and you can be home by 11:00 tomorrow. Or, we can put you up in a hotel overnight and you can get home by 9:00 tomorrow night."

Me: "Urg. Redeye please."

Agent: "OK, head on down and get your luggage and meet the agent at the main desk. They'll get you into a van and off to San Francisco."

Time now: 5:00 pm. Total delay: 5 hours.

5. Damn You FAA

San Francisco gate agent: "Hmmm, the flight they scheduled you for has been delayed from taking off in Newark by the FAA. Nothing serious, just traffic congestion. So, let' see. OK! We can still get you onto the last morning flight from Newark to West Palm. You'll be home at 1:00"

Me: "Urg. OK."

Gate Agent: "We'll give you a $12.00 meal voucher and refund the $15.00 you paid for baggage. How's that?"

Me: "Wow, an extra hour and a half here in the terminal. Joy! I can sample the fine cuisine here in the San Francisco airport. Thanks!"

Plane to Newark boarded at 11:30 pm. Total delay 11.5 hours. I pass out and sleep all the way to our destination.

6. Oh. Rings.

"Folks we're going to have to delay our boarding on the flight to West Palm. The pilot found a little hydraulic leak that needs to be looked into. Not to worry, nothing major."

Plane boards 30 minutes late after mechanics replace a couple of O-rings on the line.

7. So Close and Yet So Far

Our plane skirts around a number of big thunderstorms as we land in West Palm Beach, with a strong storm hitting the airport just after we touch down. We taxi to the terminal and are within 100 yards of the gate when we hear.....

Pilot: "Um, folks, we've been instructed to wait here until this storm passes. These lightning strikes make it dangerous for our ground crew to come out to the plane. Nothing serious, we're perfectly safe here on the plane, but there will be a short delay."

Total delay: 30 minutes

8. Electricity? We Don't Need No Steenking Electricity

Pilot: "Sorry folks, but the storm seems to have knocked power out at the gate we were going to use. The airport has found a functioning gate for us, but it will be just a little while for the plane to get towed to the new gate."

9. Final Indignity

Pilot: "Sorry folks, but they're having a little trouble at this gate too. Seems they missed just a little bit lining things up with the door of the plane. It'll be just a few more minutes."

Final de-boarding: 2:30 pm on Saturday, a mere 13 1/2 hours late.

So there you go. Fascinating in a perverse sort of way, but then I suppose my perverse friends will be interested.

In going for brevity here I've left out most commentary, but I do have to commend Continental Airlines for the way they handled all of this. I didn't see any of my fellow passengers get upset and the airline employees were helpful and responsive every step of the way. Yeah, it was annoying to be delayed that long, but at least no one actively worked to piss off their customers.