Wed Apr 01, 2009
Cavanaugh's Law
[After a prolonged absence, caused in no small part by my fascination with micro-blogging via twitter, it's finally time to start blogging again. Without further adieu...]
I wanted to get this recorded for posterity's sake. You know, just in case it leads to a round of speaking engagements in far-flung exotic locales where technology conferences are held. Like Omaha.:
Cavanaugh's Law: 60% of the time when you hear "That will be no problem", at some time in the future you will also hear "It seemed like a good idea at the time".
Mon Jan 05, 2009
Winter Vacation By The Numbers
I posted earlier today that it was back to work day after a long restful two weeks of lazing around. I discovered when I got to work that I was far from the only one who had the same sort of winter break. As my friend Mark said, "It's the whole reason we live here. This beautiful winter weather. Who wants to stay inside?"
But on reflection I decided that I had in fact accomplished quite a bit over the last two weeks. When you count it all up, it was really quite an impressive list of things that I'd achieved.
Twelve: Total working days taken off. Gotta love the education business at times like this.
Eleven: Species of birds seen from my front porch one morning as I sat reading the newspaper. Ladderback woodpecker, common heron, osprey, parrots, doves, mockingbirds, boattail grackles, oriole, blue heron, redtail hawk, and seagull. Despite repeated hours spent on the porch I was not able to top that figure.
Ten: Levels of Command and Conquer completely and thoroughly well, conquered. The shocking thing? This was the computer application I spent the most time with during the holidays.
Nine: Hours reading in the backyard. At least. Mornings, afternoons, this time of year it doesn't matter. You can read outdoors any time of day.
Eight: Shooting stars seen while sitting in the back yard when it was too dark to read. Really.
Seven: Total trips out jogging along the gorgeous South Flagler Drive during the holidays. See Number Six below.
Six: Varieties of pork served at the annual family Christmas day brunch. Sausage gravy with biscuits (required), country ham, spiral cut ham, sausage and cheese puffs, bacon, and link sausage. When did my family become swineherds?
Five: Hours spent at the beach.
Four: Manatees sighted swimming in the Lake Worth Lagoon while out on my morning jogs. Probably the same one each time, but still.
Three: Lunches at the wonderful Dune Deck Cafe' perched on its overlook above Lantana Beach.
Two: Trips out on the boat.
One: Great freaking vacation.
Sun Aug 31, 2008
Dear Google Streetview: I'm Ready for My Retake
When Google announced the Street View service of Google Maps was available in my neighborhood, I had to run right out and have a look at my house. Just vanity and unbridled geekiness I suppose, but kind of interesting in a vaguely creepy, 'Is my privacy being invaded here?', kind of way.
Imagine my dismay when I saw that the photo shoot of my street happened when the house was apparently in the final weeks of construction. From the photo posted in Street View it appears that we were just wrapping our year-long construction/renovation project but hadn't yet moved back in. I can see that the permit box is still nailed to the fence and since this shot was apparently taken early in the morning, and there are no cars out front, it doesn't look like we had moved back in yet. Close, but not quite there. (Masochists may click to enlarge this thumbnail.)
In the interest of setting the record straight I think it's incumbent on Google to send their little camera van back around and get a more accurate photo of how the house looks today. After all, I invested a lot of my vacation time this summer getting the landscaping done out front and the house looking as it does today.
So what do you say there Google? I mean, if someone is using your service and decides to orient themselves to the house with the concrete debris in the front yard and a decidedly unfinished look, might they not get the wrong information and become hopelessly lost? We wouldn't want that to happen would we?
Thu Aug 28, 2008
Two Things That Never Change In School
I get these funny little flash backs to the time many, many, many years ago when I wasn't an employee of a school district, but was merely a young lad attending the neighborhood school. Frequently that happens when something triggers a memory, like these two things that have remained the same over the span of years:
1. The feel of that gritty handsoap that they put into the bathroom dispensers.
2. The taste of school cafeteria fish sticks.
My theory on the fish sticks is that the government bought millions of pounds of the stuff back in the '50's and have been feeding it to American school children ever since.
Tue Jul 22, 2008
The Man in the Purple Dinosaur Suit: Why It's Always Good to Think Before You Speak
Saturday morning found me up bright and early and heading out to the local nursery association's sale of fruit and tropical trees. I'd never been to one of these particular shows, but as I'm (finally) in the middle of landscaping the front of the house, I thought it would be a good place to pick up something a little different for my project.
There were all sorts of cool and unusual fruit trees to choose from and I nearly went for the Jackfruit tree, producer of the world's largest fruit, but then thought better of having a tree full of 60 pound missiles if we have another hurricane blow through. Instead, I went for the semi-Florida native sapodilla tree. And a more pedestrian pineapple plant for an area by the front door.
Now, there were plenty of cool plants, but the day was anything but cool. It was one of those typical South Florida mornings where the humidity hovers around 99% while the sun beats down. Brutally hot and guaranteed to have buckets of, shall we say, perspiration, cascading all down your everywhere. Whew! Just walking to my truck with my two little purchases was enough to get me good and sweaty.
As I walked around the corner of the pavilion, thinking my little horticultural thoughts, my eye fell on a man sitting and sweating profusely in the shade next to the building. As I took in this very large man, my immediate thought is "Good Lord! They've dressed this poor guy up in a purple dinosaur outfit and asked him to help entertain the kiddies while Mom and Dad shop for plants. No wonder he's taken his head off and has decided to rest here in the shade away from the kids."
And just as I open my mouth to commiserate with this ersatz Barney, and tell him that I'm glad I don't have his job on a day like this, it dawns on me.
This is not a man in a large costume.
This is a very, very large man in a sweat suit with matching tops and bottoms.
And it's not purple, but it looks that way because he has completely sweated through his blue outfit.
And as I look closer, only for a brief instant, I see that he's sitting in one of those electric mobility thingies, probably because he's just too darn big to haul himself around.
Okay then! I mumble "Good morning" as I pass by, shifting the weight of the pineapple plant to hide my embarrassment, and thanking my stars that just this once I didn't make the mistake of opening my big mouth and saying something stupid before I took in all of the details.
'Cause I don't think "Barney" would have been amused....
Fri Jul 11, 2008
No! No! I Said Fire Achmed! Fire!
OK, so there's been all this controversy around the Photoshopped Iranian missile test. Newspapers all over the world ran one image that was released that showed four missiles streaking into the sky, while another, taken at an almost identical moment shows three missiles launching and another sitting on its mobile launcher (i.e. truck).
I haven't heard anyone say that this was Michelle Obama's fault quite yet, but the conspiracy theories are running rampant. Of course.
But the real and simple truth that I think everyone is missing is that this was merely a cover-up of simple military incompetence. Who knows. If it's like the U.S. Army the final launch probably came down to a young kid relatively fresh from the farm. A scared teenager with all these very scary adults screaming at you. At least that's what it was like when I was an artillery officer.
So, the kid doesn't quite mash the button at the precise moment he's supposed to. No big deal right? Except the officers in Iran know the whole military world will be laughing at them when the picture of three missiles firing, and one big fat failure right in the middle, are released to the world.
Luckily, the press agency has PhotoShop! Hey, just copy and paste one missile over there to over here, magic erase the truck away, and voila! Glorious success. All Praise to (insert deity of your choice here.)!
Gee, think anyone will notice? And still make fun of you?
| NEXT page |