The Sad Case of Terry Schiavo

It's sad to see a family going through the public agony that Terry Schiavo's husband and parents are enduring. Sadder still to see how politicians from Florida and now to Washington are earning political payback points at the expense of the rights that all of us thought we had. No one likes to be in this postion, but with so many of us facing this with aging parents it's more than a little troubling to see the government stepping into a private family matter. Yes, the Schiavo case is a particularly thorny one, with family pitted against family, but despite the bluster, hyperbole, and lies that are issuing from some politician's mouths, this case has been decided over and over again in the courts. It's ought to be more than a little scary to those of us who have aging parents.

My wife's folks are both living and doing relatively well, and my Mom is hanging in there. We lost Dad two years ago, and it is his story--and the story of his death--that makes me shiver over what is happening with Terry Schiavo.

My Dad was an active man who lived, worked, loved, and laughed hard to his final days. He'd been feeling a little "off", for oh, 6 months or so, and he finally agreed to go to the doctor that Fall. On the Monday before Thanksgiving two years ago my Dad received the news that he had liver cancer. Advanced liver cancer that was inoperable and that his death was inevitable. His reaction was to promptly go duck hunting the next day. On the day after Thanksgiving I went to the hospital with him where the grim news was relayed to us in stark terms, if somewhat cloaked in medical jargon.

"Your father's cancer is quite advanced based on the MRI's, and it has completely metastasized. Left untreated he probably has 6 to 8 weeks of life left to him. And those 6 to 8 weeks are going to be very painful. Likely he will need to be on pain medication that will make him nearly comatose."

Wow. "What about treatment? Isn't there anything that can be done?"

"I'm afraid that with a cancer this advanced, and especially liver cancer, there's really little we can do. We could prolong his life with aggressive treatments, but the quality of the life he would have would be extremely poor. He will likely be bedridden the entire time."

And so you are faced with decisions that you hoped you'd never have to make. My father drugged up and lying in bed for 6 months to a year? That would no longer be the man I knew. "Is that what you want Dad?" I heard myself say.

"I'm not sure I understand what all the medical terms mean", he replied.

And so I explained it to him in simple terms. Words that to this day bring a lump to my throat. "Dad, the cancer is too far along. There's nothing that can be done to stop it. If we let it run its course without treatment you have 6 weeks to live. If we treat it we might give you a little more time, but there will be a lot of pain and you'll probably be in bed or in hospitals the entire time."

And from there we moved forward as a family. My brothers and my sister and I talked it over, along with Dad and Mom, and planned our course of action. Mom, bless her heart, didn't really have the mental faculties to take all of the news in, so it came down to the kids to decide what to do. And to stick with our decision as Dad rapidly got sicker and sicker, until he passed away 3 weeks later. Those few short weeks had a number of turning points where actions and the absence of action on our part had a dramatic influence on how my Dad spent his last time with us. We gathered kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids around my Dad along with friends and clergy. We were able to see and remember him as we always saw him--digging into a bowl of homemade ice cream, twirling the ever-present toothpick in his mouth, and waiting expectantly for the punch line that one of my brothers of uncles were telling. It was a sad time, but it would have been infinitely sadder had we chosen to go the hospital and massive drug route.

In all of this there was no federal agency or state court that we had to appeal to. Granted, we were all in agreement on what we felt was the right thing to do for Dad, and he was able to make his wishes known. I'm sorry that Terry Schiavo's family wasn't able to do the same. And I'm sorry that our Governor, President and politicians all over our great land inserted themselves into something that must be decided by the courts, and not by legislation.

It's doubly shameful that it is being done not because of any concern for Terry's life, but because it plays well to the core of the party faithful. The politicians know that what they're doing is constitutionally wrong, but they just don't care. They're more concerned about being able to stand before a gathering and proclaim their love for the sanctity of life than they are in fulfilling the oath of their office where the swore to uphold and defend the Constitution.