Tue Mar 29, 2005
6 Words you Don't Want To Hear From Your Programmer
That's pretty. We need to talk.
Mon Mar 28, 2005
Whither the Blog?
(Warning: Personal reflection and blogging geekery ahead.)
I wrote a little tongue in cheek piece a week or so ago about the 1st anniversary of the blog, but I've actually been giving some thought to where the blog is headed these days.
To me the blog has become a personal proving ground for my writing. I find myself more inclined to writing longer pieces, and less towards the simple linking to things that others have posted on. I still do some personal bookmarking by way of the blog, but for the most part I'm turning towards more original pieces. Some short, some long, but all me and what I think about things. Oh, and my attempts to be funny.
But wait! That's not the way to get popular, to get picked up by the big bloggers and deemed Important! You have to post every day. In the morning so the East Coast readers can see your stuff. Post comments in other blogs and link, link, link! A few short words ("Wow, Blogger XYZ is sure stirring things up over at the XYZ blog! He's giving 'em hell!) a link in, and watch those numbers rising. Sure, sure, you have to offer something of value, but the main thing is to plug away!
The thing is, the more I read the Big Blogs and try to follow the chatter among the Important Bloggers, the less inclined I am to want to be one of them. I don't want to be a political ranter. I don't need to be an "industry expert". And while it's certainly cool to have your blog linked to from all over the world, and a fun ego boost to see the number of visitors rising, the blog is still just about me and what I'm thinking about. I'm not fighting the Main Stream Media. I'm not flogging a cause other than my own. In other words, it's just a blog. A journal. Me and my opinion. No holy mantle has been placed upon my shoulders by virtue of my willingness to spend $10 a month for web hosting and the time it takes for me to sit and write.
I've been influenced of late by Chuq Von Rospach (chuqui), an Apple employee who writes at his Teal Sunglasses blog along the lines of where I think this blog is headed. He has a great level-headed approach to blogging and its importance in the Grand Scheme of Things. For instance, he breaks on of the Holy Precepts of Blogging by (gasp!) deleting some posts, but then gives a rational defense for doing so. Hmmm, a blog entry that has some thought behind it. There's a concept.
And to show that great minds think alike, here's his summary of where his blog is going.
Since I'm not terribly interested in being the Big Dog Blogger type, but instead being, well, me, with whatever audience that attracts, I've decided to do something I've been considering for a while, which is moving to more of an essay format. I have a couple of natural writing lengths, one around 1500 words, one around 5,000. the quick-linking will continue, but anything else, I plan on slowing down, thinking it through, and doing it right, or not doing it. Doing it badly just isn't what I want to be known for.
And that in a nutshell is where this blog is likely to go as well. Fewer postings, longer pieces, with an eye towards improving my writing.
Tue Mar 22, 2005
The Sad Case of Terry Schiavo
It's sad to see a family going through the public agony that Terry Schiavo's husband and parents are enduring. Sadder still to see how politicians from Florida and now to Washington are earning political payback points at the expense of the rights that all of us thought we had. No one likes to be in this postion, but with so many of us facing this with aging parents it's more than a little troubling to see the government stepping into a private family matter. Yes, the Schiavo case is a particularly thorny one, with family pitted against family, but despite the bluster, hyperbole, and lies that are issuing from some politician's mouths, this case has been decided over and over again in the courts. It's ought to be more than a little scary to those of us who have aging parents.
My wife's folks are both living and doing relatively well, and my Mom is hanging in there. We lost Dad two years ago, and it is his story--and the story of his death--that makes me shiver over what is happening with Terry Schiavo.
My Dad was an active man who lived, worked, loved, and laughed hard to his final days. He'd been feeling a little "off", for oh, 6 months or so, and he finally agreed to go to the doctor that Fall. On the Monday before Thanksgiving two years ago my Dad received the news that he had liver cancer. Advanced liver cancer that was inoperable and that his death was inevitable. His reaction was to promptly go duck hunting the next day. On the day after Thanksgiving I went to the hospital with him where the grim news was relayed to us in stark terms, if somewhat cloaked in medical jargon.
"Your father's cancer is quite advanced based on the MRI's, and it has completely metastasized. Left untreated he probably has 6 to 8 weeks of life left to him. And those 6 to 8 weeks are going to be very painful. Likely he will need to be on pain medication that will make him nearly comatose."
Wow. "What about treatment? Isn't there anything that can be done?"
"I'm afraid that with a cancer this advanced, and especially liver cancer, there's really little we can do. We could prolong his life with aggressive treatments, but the quality of the life he would have would be extremely poor. He will likely be bedridden the entire time."
And so you are faced with decisions that you hoped you'd never have to make. My father drugged up and lying in bed for 6 months to a year? That would no longer be the man I knew. "Is that what you want Dad?" I heard myself say.
"I'm not sure I understand what all the medical terms mean", he replied.
And so I explained it to him in simple terms. Words that to this day bring a lump to my throat. "Dad, the cancer is too far along. There's nothing that can be done to stop it. If we let it run its course without treatment you have 6 weeks to live. If we treat it we might give you a little more time, but there will be a lot of pain and you'll probably be in bed or in hospitals the entire time."
And from there we moved forward as a family. My brothers and my sister and I talked it over, along with Dad and Mom, and planned our course of action. Mom, bless her heart, didn't really have the mental faculties to take all of the news in, so it came down to the kids to decide what to do. And to stick with our decision as Dad rapidly got sicker and sicker, until he passed away 3 weeks later. Those few short weeks had a number of turning points where actions and the absence of action on our part had a dramatic influence on how my Dad spent his last time with us. We gathered kids, grandkids, and great-grandkids around my Dad along with friends and clergy. We were able to see and remember him as we always saw him--digging into a bowl of homemade ice cream, twirling the ever-present toothpick in his mouth, and waiting expectantly for the punch line that one of my brothers of uncles were telling. It was a sad time, but it would have been infinitely sadder had we chosen to go the hospital and massive drug route.
In all of this there was no federal agency or state court that we had to appeal to. Granted, we were all in agreement on what we felt was the right thing to do for Dad, and he was able to make his wishes known. I'm sorry that Terry Schiavo's family wasn't able to do the same. And I'm sorry that our Governor, President and politicians all over our great land inserted themselves into something that must be decided by the courts, and not by legislation.
It's doubly shameful that it is being done not because of any concern for Terry's life, but because it plays well to the core of the party faithful. The politicians know that what they're doing is constitutionally wrong, but they just don't care. They're more concerned about being able to stand before a gathering and proclaim their love for the sanctity of life than they are in fulfilling the oath of their office where the swore to uphold and defend the Constitution.
Sat Mar 19, 2005
6 Words You Don't Want To Hear Your Wife Say
Can I buy all new clothes?
Mid-life Crisis: I Don't Think So
I finally--finally!--got the boat of my dreams last weekend. Yes, after at least 10 years of repressed boat lust I am now the proud owner of a Hewes Redfisher 18 foot flats boat.
My wife has been pretty patient with me as I went into the death throes of satisfying my long repressed urge for this particular boat. Lucky for me the funding for said boat is possible without having to dip into the regular household income. It's taken me about 5 years of really hard work, but I now get enough of an income stream from various web and writing ventures to make the boat possible. So bully for me I say.
My wife's friends and coworkers seem to ascribe this to a mid-life crisis of some type. Really ladies. A man needs a dream, so don't begrudge me a toy that I've worked really hard to get, OK? And this isn't some froo-froo sports car or overly loud motorcycle. This is a boat. And not just any boat, OK? I went to the factory 8 years ago to check out this very boat, and I've been wanting one badly since. So I'm not suffering from declining testosterone levels that grip me in an urge to find something--anything--that will let me reclaim my lost virility. Really.
Just wanted to be clear on that.
Oh yeah, here are some photos of me and the family out on the new boat. See? It's a family experience thing. Not that I won't be out early tomorrow morning with Fishing Buddy Fred chasing spinner sharks down the beach mind you.
6 Words You Don't Want To Hear When You Walk In The Door
Dad? Do we have a plunger?
Wed Mar 16, 2005
To the High-Tech Employers: Sorry About Those Missing Skills
We educators sure have a lot to apologize for. Seems we can't get anything right. We're told that schools need to be accountable through testing of our students, but then get faulted when kids graduate without the needed skills to actually do productive high-tech work. So, it seems that an open letter from the education community to the future employers of our students is something that needs to be done. I hereby volunteer.
Dear High-Tech Employer,
First, our most sincere apologies. Not to you I'm afraid, but to our students. We set out to give them the best opportunities we can. We want them to be hard-working, productive workers who are solid citizens. That's our job in a nutshell, but if we haven't trained students in the kind of work that would give them the best shot at being successful in the modern economy, then we have a lot to be sorry for.
But to the employers let us also say that we let you down. Here you are prepared to hire our kids, with a job to do and money to be made, and you can't find emerging workers with the skills you need. Yes, we've read the studies. Being able to communicate well, work as a cooperative team, express themselves in written and spoken context are all things that you're hoping for. And of course, for those high-tech jobs we're supposed to give you graduates who have some basic grounding in some higher-order skills. Screwed those up, didn't we?
But you know, it's not like we haven't tried. You see, in the big rush to bring accountability to schools and to make them performance-based you who supported those measures--largely from the business community I might add--failed to account for all the things that would have to go. "Elective" classes--where you might see your future workers doing digital design work, doing animations and video, learning programming fundamentals, and all the other things that we used to be able to do with our kids--well, we had to cut all those way back. Sorry. You said that standards were what was important. What's that? You mean that we need both? Well, you also supported measures that kept taxes down and gave tax-breaks to you and your set, while we in public education have been told that we just have to do more with less. That sounds like a good plan, huh? Offer less classes just at the time when more skills need to be taught than ever before.
Tell you what. How about you start working on products that will be made possible with workers who have spent most of their time in school getting ready for standardized tests? For instance, our kids can really crank out 5 paragraph sentences (Introduction, 3 Supporting Paragraphs, Conclusion) and if you could just come up with a product that took advantage of that skill then you'd have no shortage of workers. I'm not sure what that product would be, but the kids are ready, let me tell you. And we have the grades to prove it.
Our kids are really good at bubbling answer sheets and counting pages in text booklets too. Man, can they ever bubble! We get them on that in Grade 3 and for the next 7 years they'll be bubbling little fools. Bubble, bubble, bubble. Oh yes, they're also very good at Remaining Quiet Until All Text Booklets Have Been Collected. There has to be some money available in that area. Hey, you're the entrepreneurs. You'll figure something out.
There are many other jobs that we've prepared our students to perform. Do you have a need for workers who can choose between 4 options? As long as they're are labeled A through D, then we're ready there too.
There are many others, including a standardized curriculum that we've used to stifle creativity and problem solving and inquisitiveness in our schools. And that's just the teachers! Really, we are your public servants are ready to supply you with workers who have plenty of critical skills. Just you let us know.
The U. S. Education community
Dear Mr. Real Man: Should I Still Snuggle My Mom?
**With semi-sincere apologies to the famous columnist who had a real letter along these same lines in today's paper.
Dear Mr. Real Man--
I am a 15 year-old boy who still likes to snuggle with my Mom. Sometimes we sit on the couch together and I like putting my head on her shoulder and even telling her I love her. I don't do this when my friends are around, and we're not doing anything weird. I just really love my Mom and I like to tell her that. Really, she's awesome.
My Dad is pretty great too. He gives me hugs and tells me he loves me all the time. I don't think that's weird. Do you?
Wondering--
John
Dear John--
Butch up son.
Sure, it's great to love your Mom. All real men love their Mom's and would whoop some serious butt for their Mom if there were any real dangers or disrespect lurking about. Now, Mizz Abby says it's all wonderful that you're a loving boy and all that, but let's try to channel that love into some more manly ventures, shall we? Cut the grass for your Mom, wash her car, tell she's pretty, and tell her you love her. All cool.
But get off the couch already would you? Go shoot some hoops, go fishing, play Xbox. Something, but don't hang out getting all snuggly with Momma. That's just wrong.
And hugging Dad? You're on thin ice there too. If you temper some of that with manly behavior that allows you and Dad to bond over things like fire, explosions, fast cars, girls in skimpy clothing and things like that, then an occasional hug is OK. But watch it. A little goes a long way.
Tue Mar 15, 2005
My Blog is Mad at Me
My blog has been a bit pouty for the last few weeks. It was finally time to utter those words that no man enjoys saying.
"Honey, what's wrong? Something's been bothering you."
"Oh no," she said, sighing, "Nothing's wrong. I'm just tired."
"Come on now. Something's been bothering you. Let's get this out in the open and talk about it."
"Well, there are a few things."
Uh oh, I thought. Here it comes. I guess I asked for it.
"Well, I guess I'm just feeling a little neglected is all."
"Now dear. I know I don't spend time with you as often as you'd like, but I am doing my best. Remember the week before last? We spent time together every day. I did a lot of writing during that week."
"Oh sure, one week. Big whoop. You think a blog like me is satisfied with a week of steady writing every blue moon?"
"Well you know I get busy. I mean I do have a regular job and a family and the side work that I do. All of that takes time."
"I know, I know. And I knew that going in to this relationship. You can't always spend time with me like you want to. You have a family and a job. Blah blah blah. I've heard it all before. You have good intentions and you're going to write every day. And you do for these little spurts, and then what? Nothing for days on end. How am I supposed to be satisfied with that?"
"OK, you're right honey." I go for the classic male Dodge and Weave. Agree with them and hope you can steer the topic away from the thing(s) you've done wrong.
"But there are much more serious things we need to discuss."
Uh oh. Here it comes.
"Do you know what last month was?"
"Uh, February?"
"Very funny. And, Mr. Smarty Pants, do you remember anything significant happening during February?"
"Gosh, in February? It's not President's Day is it?"
"Are you trying to make me mad?"
"Sorry. OK, what did I forget about in February?"
"Hmmmph! Maybe you ought to check out my logs every now and then."
"Honey, you have lovely logs. I check them out all the time." Flattery, Dodge Number 2.
"Ha ha. Take a look at the control panel for February. See if anything jumps out at you Mr. Smart Guy. I'll wait."
"Hmmm. February last year. OK, ummmm. What am I missing?"
"Good Lord. You are so dense. Maybe I need to find someone who can appreciate what a blog like me is capable of. Someone who recognizes significant events.
"Oh gosh. I missed our anniversary didn't I? Our first day together was February 20th last year. I am so sorry."
"Hmmmphhh! A little late for sorry now isn't it? Most blogs get year in review tributes with statistics and nice things said about them by their humans. What did I get? Nothing. Zero Zip. Nada."
"Well, not exactly nothing. I did upgrade you to pMachine Pro to get rid of those nasty comment spammers. What about that?"
"Oh gosh. You do something for yourself and it's supposed to make me feel better? Just because you didn't want to spend your precious time deleting bad comments? Oh wow. I am underwhelmed."
"Now no need to get mean about it. You're right. I should have written something about you and the year we've spent together."
"That's right buster. You might have mentioned how we stuck together in the beginning when no one was reading me and how now you're getting about 500 readers per day. Don't you think I deserve some credit for that? And look at those total numbers of visitors. Did you think you'd ever see anything like that?"
"Yes, you're right of course. 118,000 plus visits is pretty, um, voluptuous, isn't it?"
"You're trying to change the subject again aren't you?"
"Sorry. OK, what can I do to make it up to you?"
"Well. There are a few things on my list. Do you want to hear my ideas or are you just patronizing me?"
"I would never patronize a blog as intelligent and beautiful as you."
"I'm going to smack you if you don't cut that out."
"Sorry. It's an automatic defense posture. I'll listen."
"OK, first, how about a few pictures every once in awhile?"
"Well, I always wanted to focus on my writing without the distraction of images. But I guess a picture every now and then would be OK."
"And when are you going to fix my code? You've got objects in the page out of order. It's very embarrassing when the other blogs see that my actual content loads last, and you're supposed to be some hotshot web developer."
"I know, I know. I've been meaning to do that. You're right."
"And I want to get listed in more blog aggregators. Is it wrong for me to want to get noticed?"
"OK, agreed. I'll do my best on that one too."
"And I want to get mentioned by some famous blogger. Robert Scoble or Dave Barry or dooce. Someone like that."
"Well, let's not get carried away here. How about John Dowdell?"
"Oh alright. I guess he'll do."
"Anything else?"
"No, not really. See, I'm not one of those high maintenance blogs am I? Just a little basic attention and some of your time. That's all I ask."
"OK. And sorry again for missing our anniversary. Now, let's have a look at those logs again."
"Good grief. You men are such pigs."
Thu Mar 10, 2005
What They Say vs. What They Mean
It seems like I've been in a ton of meetings lately--some related to the day job, and others that cover some of my outside interests. Nothing unusual about any of that, but what I have been paying attention to is the dynamics of these meetings where what people say is vastly different from what I know they're thinking. Here are some examples:
What they say: That's a very interesting observation.
What they mean: Is this twit paying attention to any of this?
What they say: Yes, we've discussed that issue on our team.
What they mean: God, please don't bring that up. Do you know how many hours we've already devoted to that kind of trivia? I've got to shut this guy up or we'll be mired in minutia for the next hour.
What they say: That's an excellent question.
What they mean: Has this idiot been listening at all? For God's sake! We just now covered that. There's goes another 10 minutes of my life that I won't be able to get back. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.
What they say: We'll have to review that internally and come back with some answers to that question.
What they mean: Nooooooo! It's all laid out in the documents. Any 3rd grader would understand what we're talking about here. I'm not reviewing anything. Why did I say that? Oh yeah, to get him to SHUT UP!
What they say: We've had a great deal of internal debate over that issue.
What they mean: Please don't get started on that topic. Otherwise Jeffrey over there is going to go off on one of his usual side trips to hell. Thank God there are no weapons allowed here at work, otherwise one of these weenies would die. I wonder how I'd look being hauled from the building in handcuffs? Is this the right outfit for going to jail? Wonder what they're serving for dinner in Cellblock C tonight? OK, OK, stay focused. God here comes another idiotic question.
What they say: I believe we discussed this just a few minutes ago, but let's review so everyone is clear on the issues.
What they mean: Would it be manslaughter or murder if I jump from my chair, sit on his chest, and strangle him with that awful tie he's wearing today? It would have to be manslaughter right? I'm not doing anything premeditated. Not planning to watch him die a horrible death. It would be different if I sprinkled arsenic in that ugly-ass coffee mug of his one morning and then danced in my cubicle while he choked and gagged, knowing that the paramedics will never get here in time. Hahahahahahahaha! God that would be sweet!
What they say: We feel strongly about the recommendations we've made here today.
What they mean: If this isn't a slam dunk I don't know what is. Please, please, please, can we just make a decision already? This could go on for months at this rate. Why do these people come to these meetings anyway? We've got to stop serving danish at these things. YOU sure don't need to eat anymore Mr. Lardass. Hey, maybe the cholesterol will get this guy and I won't have to do a thing. Here you go Mr. Lardass, have one of these cream-filled donuts. Hee hee! Note to self: Stop at Krispy Kreme before the next team meeting.
What they say: Thanks so much for attending. You've provided valuable feedback.
What they mean: What were those lines in that Monty Python skit? Oh yeah, thanks for coming, you vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous pervert. You're such a valuable member of the team, Mr. Snotty-faced Heap of Parrot Droppings. We're not nearly as impressed with you as you are with yourself, but golly it's been good to see you. Now if you'd kindly rot in hell while I go about the business of undoing all the damage you've caused my project in the last hour, it would be much appreciated. Thanks oh so much. Really.
Tue Mar 08, 2005
#1 Thing Overhead in the Florida Governor's Mansion
"Honey, do these pants make my butt look big?"
"No Jeb. You look fine."
Sun Mar 06, 2005
Jeb Bush To Florida: Never Mind That Pesky Constituion
Our esteemed governor launched a new constitutional amendment initiative two weeks ago aiming to amend the very bothersome class size reduction amendment that voters approved in 2002. Let's take a look at how the amended constitution reads, shall we:
SECTION 1. Public education.--
(a) The education of children is a fundamental value of the people of the State of Florida. It is, therefore, a paramount duty of the state to make adequate provision for the education of all children residing within its borders. Adequate provision shall be made by law for a uniform, efficient, safe, secure, and high quality system of free public schools that allows students to obtain a high quality education and for the establishment, maintenance, and operation of institutions of higher learning and other public education programs that the needs of the people may require. To assure that children attending public schools obtain a high quality education, the legislature shall make adequate provision to ensure that, by the beginning of the 2010 school year, there are a sufficient number of classrooms so that:
(1) The maximum number of students who are assigned to each teacher who is teaching in public school classrooms for prekindergarten through grade 3 does not exceed 18 students;
(2) The maximum number of students who are assigned to each teacher who is teaching in public school classrooms for grades 4 through 8 does not exceed 22 students; and
(3) The maximum number of students who are assigned to each teacher who is teaching in public school classrooms for grades 9 through 12 does not exceed 25 students.
Wow. Them's powerful words. We must really be committed to public education here in Florida huh? A "high-quality system of free public schools that allows students to obtain a high quality education" no less. From the wording there you'd think that we value education above anything else here in Florida. Tax cuts and business development deals from state funds? No sirree Bob. We here in Florida are going to put our money where are mouths are and fund public education in such a way that every student gets a high quality education.
Except under Jeb Bush the constitution is merely a loose set of guidelines that you can ignore when it runs counter to your ideology. We won't even get into the voucher thing here, but suffice it to say that the guy who took an oath to uphold our constitution never met an article he felt could be ignored or circumvented when the mood strikes him.
Here's another line from what our guiding document for state government says about class sizes:
Payment of the costs associated with reducing class size to meet these requirements is the responsibility of the state and not of local schools districts. Beginning with the 2003-2004 fiscal year, the legislature shall provide sufficient funds to reduce the average number of students in each classroom by at least two students per year until the maximum number of students per classroom does not exceed the requirements of this subsection.
Well now. The voters said that funds would be allocated and that the cost was to be borne not by local school districts, but by the state. Wonder how that worked out? According to the Palm Beach Post:
During the 2002 election campaign, Bush said that implementing the (class size reduction) idea would force either massive budget cuts or a massive tax increase, and he cited an estimate by state economists of $27 billion in new, unanticipated spending for K-12 education.
But three weeks ago, Bush acknowledged that the state has not increased its payments for schools' operating costs since passage of the amendment beyond the amounts schools already had been getting. Public schools were getting an annual increase of about $1 billion a year before its passage, and have received increases of about $1 billion a year since its passage.
A Palm Beach Post review of recent education budgets found that although the state economists estimated that the first two years of class-size reduction would trigger at least $2.2 billion in new operating costs and at least $1.7 billion in new construction costs, Bush and lawmakers have spent nothing more in operating costs and $700 million more for construction.
So, what really happened? Since the state didn't fund the required construction and increase in teachers needed, and since the local districts were free from any financial responsibility, surely the districts could just ignore the law too and go on with the work of providing an education? Right?
Umm, not at all. School districts in Florida were absolutely held to the law, and since no additional funds were provided, funding for other programs had to be cut to make up the difference. Here in Palm Beach County that has meant an end to many elective classes such as art, music, and technology. And of those schools that were able to retain those classes? It's now common for a high school elective teacher to have well over 50 students per class, and sometimes as many as 80.
Now our esteemed and exalted leader has a new plan, a plan that essentially bribes teachers and parents by professing to improve education by raising teacher pay across the state. In exchange for that Milkbone, we are to accept the Gov's new plan for class size reduction, accepting a district-wide average in place of the current per-school average.
And guess what? There's no provision for funding these pay raises either. Great! Let's swap one set of mandates that have no funding behind them for another set. Now that makes sense.
I voted against the class-size amendment back in 2002, not because I think smaller class sizes are a bad idea, but because given the state's history of creating requirements without funding I knew that the costs would be absorbed by local schools. And now the Governor wants us to buy into another shell game played with high-sounding words but empty of real meaning.
No thanks. But you know what words I do wish Jeb and the legislature paid more attention to? The ones in the constitution.
Read more at the Sun Sentinel.
Fri Mar 04, 2005
Schools are the Gatekeepers of Mediocrity
Education reform meets the gatekeepers of mediocrity: Writing in the Seattle Times, Lynne Varner opines that there is much to like about the No Child Left Behind act and the ways that it forces federal control over local schools. Wait. Did a conservative columnist just say that federal control was better than local? And without being paid by the Bush Administration? Wow. That is news.
Amidst the hyperbole and bluster, she makes some valid points. There are problems in our schools. There are teachers who are poor performers at their job. Who show up for work and put in the minimum effort required to get through the day. Who do little to help their students or to really teach them anything. Keep 'em quiet, keep 'em busy, and keep 'em until June is their watchword.
But to paint with such a continent-sweeping brush as Ms. Varner does for the entire public education system does an incredible disservice to the millions of teachers and administrators who are in education because they love kids and feel their work is important. NCLB challenges the secret conceits of public education, that we accept failing students? That we--who accept lower paying jobs and long hours because what we do is important--don't care? That makes good controversial copy, but it only goes to show how out of touch with the real world of educators these fire breathers are.
Out of Control in the Classroom
No, this time it's not the students, but the teacher who goes into a red-faced rage over those smart-aleck kids who won't stand for the Pledge of Allegiance. That probably happens more than we educators would care to admit. Not that I know anyone who would ever scream at their students like that. Unh unh. Not me.
So what's the difference this time? Ah, this time the students are equipped with technology. After videotaping the teacher's rant, and his physical confrontation with one of the students, the video was posted on a web site for all the world to see.
Thu Mar 03, 2005
How Not To Troubleshoot Computer Problems
I lost 4 or 5 days of work this week to problems on my Mac. To say that this is highly unusual would be an understatement. Typically my little iMac hums and burbles along, and has done so without fail for the last two years. But on Saturday morning things got ugly. Now that the experience is behind me I can review a little all the many ways that I made things worse.
Step 1: Accept all updates for OS X without question. (Hey, it comes from Apple and therefore it must be necessary and needed. Install away! That's what I did when OS X 3.8 was released.)
Step 2: Ignore minor changes in the computer's performance after installing the update. (Hmmm. The Mac seems a little sluggish these days. And I wonder why the fan is running all the time? Never did that before. Oh well. Tra la la la la.)
Step 3: Panic when presented with the first error message. (The hard drive is FULL!? How did that happen? I knew it was getting pretty full, but wow. All the way full. Gosh. I better do something.)
Step 4: Blindly throw out files. (Man, I need some more hard drive space. Let's see, what can I get rid of? OK, this and this and this and this and this and those over there. Whew. Should be better now.)
Step 5: Fail to back up files before throwing stuff away. (Now what was I working on? Oh yeah. What?! Those files are gone? Arrrggghhh! Recreate files.)
Step 6: Fail to notice that the problem still exists. (Tra la la la la. Back to work. Wonder why the fan is running again? Oh well, no worries. Back to work.)
Step 7: REALLY panic when the error message appears again. (The hard drive is full again!? Utter many bad words. Now what? Good God. I have to do something! An external hard drive would let me move my documents and videos off the many hard drive right? Yeah, that's the ticket.)
Step 8: Research and procure a device that will "fix" the problem. Invest several hours in this process. (OK, if I build my own external drive I can save a few bucks. Maybe that's the way to go. Or maybe just save myself the time and buy one outright. Wonder what the best prices are? Better read some reviews too. Hey! The hard drive is full AGAIN! Now that's just plain weird. Oh well, better keep focusing on the symptom here. Now, this hard drive looks nice....)
Step 9: Spend several more hours driving around town trying to find the hard drive that you carefully researched. (Apple Store will have it right? Uh, no. Best Buy? Uh, no. Circuit City? Uh, no. Ignore daughter's whining and attempt to bribe her with promises that you'll only stop one more place. She negotiates for a trip to the bookstore. One hour and $30 later resume your search. CompUSA? Yeah! Found it. This will solve all my problems and all will be right with the world again.)
Step 10: Install device. Transfer files. Run diagnostics and maintenance routines. (OK, things should be better now right? Dang, the fan is still running.)
Step 11: Check Activity Monitor. Wonder at your own stupidity for the first time. (Why didn't I do this first? Look at that sucker! Something is writing to the hard drive over and over and over and over. Hmmm. Something is badly wrong here. Smack forehead.)
Step 12: Check on-line references and resources for others experiencing similar problems. (OK, let's do a Google for "OS X filling hard drive". That first result looks like what's happening to me. Let me check. Holy crap! Lots of people are having this problem! Time needed to find the issue. 2.1 seconds. Time already invested in solutions to a problem that I didn't know I had because I failed to check first? 18.7 hours.)
Step 13: Read forums and discover solution. (A device driver is causing an error log to be written over and over and over again. That explains a lot. Says to check for this file. Holy Crap! There's a 17 GB error file there.)
Step 14: Throw out offending driver. Run maintenance routines and restart computer. (OK, that's better. No more weird error logs being written. The fan stopped running. Cool.)
Step 15: Read more about the issue and about how to get rid of the huge log file. Accept the advice of an anonymous person who posted to a Macintosh forum and do an archive and install of the Mac OS to "get things back in order". (Realize after losing several hours to this process that the person who gave that advice is probably a 14 year-old who's had his computer for just a little over a month. Confirm this by going back to the forum and reading other posts that were submitted that say "NO!!!!! Don't do that!". Smack forehead again.)
Step 16: Spend many hours reinstalling and reauthorizing your software. Download all the updates that you just threw away. ( Utter many many many bad words.)
Step 16: Write to the company that made the device driver that started all this. Get a nice e-mail back with instructions on how to use the Unix core of the Mac to get rid of the bloated log file. (Attempt to follow instructions. Again and again. Realize that you probably don't know enough about what you're doing so spend several hours researching Unix, the history of computers, electrical engineering, and the new Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.)
Step 17: Back to the Mac forums. Look for other methods to get rid of the log file. (Read and attempt all of them. Resolve to stay away from reading Dave Barry's blog and dooce. Fail at your resolution.)
Step 18: Find a definitive solution at Apple Technical Support for the bloated log file. Throw it away. Reboot.
Step 19: Realize that you've wasted a whole bunch of time and money simply because you didn't think through the problem before attacking it. Blame it on your male chromosomes.
Step 20: Admit your stupidity to the world by writing a blog entry.
Wed Mar 02, 2005
Everything I know about dancing...
Tue Mar 01, 2005
Gonna Write Me a Novel
I've been reading a little junk food for the brain lately. You know, those frivolous books that have no real redeeming value other than the simple fact that they're tasty.
Right now it's Michael Crichton's latest. An anti-ecologist rant that finds the wise and learned scientist battling eco-terrorists and misinformed Hollywood liberals. (Methinks that maybe Michael had his butt kicked in court over some land use dispute or something. He's quite angry with the tree huggers of the world and by virtue of his status as Best Selling Author he's decided to whip them in public by way of this book. It has its moments, but is entirely too preachy for me.)
Never mind for a moment Michael's particular slant in this book, the fact is that he's selling a ton of them because he is a master of The Best Selling Novel Formula. It goes like this:
Add 1 regular guy thrown into unusual circumstances.
Mix in a beautiful, brilliant, and independent woman.
Add a quirky villain with a nefarious plot with plenty of henchmen at his disposal.
Toss all three into an improbable scenario that involves something of high interest to lots of people. In Crichton's case it's terrorism and ecologists, but pick just about any best-selling book and you'll find the familiar formula.
Dan Brown's DaVinci Code? Let's see. Rugged regular guy.
Check.
Beautiful independent and vaguely unattainable woman?
Check.
Villains?
Oh yeah, villains going all the way back to the Crusades. Mega check.
And of high interest to most people?
Uh, the descendents of Jesus and Mary Magdalene? Yeah, I believe Dan gets a check for that one too. For that matter, Dan gets lots of checks these days, if you know what I mean.
So what the heck. I can do that. I'm thinking of calling my first novel "Fearsome Fundamentalists" and it will feature a somewhat nerdy youth pastor who preaches against the evils or rock and roll on his personal web site, only to be caught up in a plot by evil record company executives to cripple the Internet and put an end to music sharing once and for all. The hero is thrown in with a tough talking and hard-drinking rocker girl in the mold of Gwen Stefani. Or maybe Joan Jett. Tough, independent and beautiful, but with a vulnerable side. Together they jet all over the world undoing the work of the master criminals until the exciting conclusion at the Vatican when they discover that....
No, you'll have to wait for the ending. But suffice it to say that I plan to pour in all the important elements of the modern best-selling author. Then maybe I'll be the one collecting the checks.