Sun Jan 22, 2006
Google: More Popular Than Mom
There's been an awful lot of attention devoted this week to the dustup over the subpoena issued by the U.S. government for Google search terms. It's nice to see a big company standing on principle, but what really caught my eye was this quote in some of the early coverage of the story:
Search engines now play such an important part in our daily lives that many people probably contact Google more often than they do their own mother," said Thomas Burke, a San Francisco attorney who has handled several prominent cases involving privacy issues.
Well, duh.
I mean we all love our moms, but trying to get information from her would probably end up sounding like this:
Son: Hi Mom. Can you give me directions to 1146 NE 146th Street in Miami.
Mom: Harold! Our son is on the phone. Well, to what do we owe the pleasure of your call?
Son: I just need some directions Mom. From my house to 1146 NE 146th Street in Miami please.
Mom: Harold! He wants directions to someplace in Miami. Do you have that gas station map? What, is this some girl's place that you're trying to get to?
Son: No Mom. Can I just get the directions please?
Mom: Well, isn't it about time that you did find a nice girl? My hairdresser's niece is a lovely girl. Remember me telling you about her?
Son: Never mind Mom. Thanks though. Talk to you soon. *click*
*10 minutes later*
Son: Hey Mom. Can you spell "transcinsedental" please.
Mom: Did you mean: "transcendental."
Son: Yeah, that's it. Thanks Mom. *click*
Mom: Hey wait a minute. You're not getting off the phone this........hello? Harold! He hung up on me!
*10 minutes later*
Son: Hi Mom. Do you have any photos of Anna Sorenstam?
Mom: Who?
Son: She's a pro golfer Mom. Do you have any pictures of her?
Mom: Now listen here buster. Do you want me to have your father talk to you? Why are you constantly calling all the sudden?
Son: Mom. Really. I don't want to get into it. Do you have any pictures of her or not? Or something related to her? Or in your cache?
Mom: You know, this is very bizarre behavior. Are you drinking? Oh my God! It's drugs isn't it? Oh my God!!! Harold! I think he's on drugs!
Son: No Mom. I'm not on drugs. Forget the pictures. Sheesh. *click*
*10 minutes pass*
Son: Mom, do you.....
Mom: Why are you doing this to me? You're upsetting me and your father. Please stop calling.
Son: Mom, I just wanted some information on....
Mom: No, no, no, no, NO!! Stop asking me these questions! And God help me, I never thought I'd say this, but STOP CALLING ME!
Son: So you don't know the atomic weight of aluminum?
Mom: *click*
Son: Mom? Mom?












